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Just last week I shared a very heartfelt post about Ian, myself, and our current views on marriage for us. You can read it here, but the more I thought about it while writing the piece, I realized that this would be a great blog series... to learn different peoples opinions and hear their experiences related to marriage.
Marriage has changed so much and still looks different in different parts of the world. People are married for status and wealth as well as partnership and love. Some people believe marriage is a religious union, some people don't connect it with religion at all. So this is our goal, to learn about marriage from the people, and maybe through that we will be able to discover what our own hearts and minds value as well. If you would be willing to share your thoughts, experiences, and hopes on the blog, please email me at evergreenerafilms.com.
(PLEASE NOTE: this is an open-minded space. It is for people to share their opinion and to be heard, not to be argued with. It is a safe space. If you want to debate, hate, or discriminate, this is not the place)
First up, Jennifer's view on marriage...
"Personally I am so excited to get married. Not for the party, not for the gifts, or photos, but for the symbolic stamp of affirmation that you get when someone promises you in the most ardent way possible that they see themselves with you forever. It's not something I need, but something I think will be mind-blowing to have, freely given and with intention.
In the past I've wanted my ex's to talk about marriage because I needed them to, because I was insecure in my relationship and wanted that contractual commitment. So unhealthy. But now that I've met Bobby- my perspective has totally changed. I'm no longer in any rush. He makes me feel more secure than anyone I've ever known. I know he loves me, and I know he intends on staying with me long into the foreseeable future. It's not about need, but rather just a desire to eventually experience the process and the promise that comes with marriage. To have them say it out loud would be a powerful experience that I wouldn't want to miss out on, whether it was in front of 1000 people or just in front of me and the mountains. (In Colorado you don't even need an officiant to get married.) I guess in a way, it's just as meaningful as any ritual is to groups that find value in whatever ritual they practice. To me it's a way of ultimately expressing and honoring your relationship.
And again- it totally depends on the people- but I think sometimes if things get rough and rocky, it's a little bit more difficult to exit a marriage than it is a non-contractual relationship. This is the most shallow point in a way, but I think it can make some difference. If there's more at stake, more headache and difficulty to make the exit, sometimes it forces people to reflect a little on whether or not they actually want to leave something so serious. It also keeps people in situations they should have gotten out of, and that isn't to say non-married couples don't take breaking up very seriously as well. But as with many things in life, impulses can overrule reason fairly quickly. When there's a kind of forced waiting period, sometimes the dust can settle and people can remind themselves of why they made the commitment in the first place. Sometimes they'll be obliged to make the extra effort. ? Like I said- just a small reason but I think there's a little validity to it.
! I wouldn't consider myself a traditionalist, I just think this is one I would choose to follow because of what it [would] mean to me personally. <3"
Jennifer is a wedding photographer based out of Boulder, Colorado.
See her beautiful work at www.jennifermorganphotography.com
Need some convincing that you should hire a videographer for your wedding or elopement? I'll let these articles speak for themselves!
Is Wedding Video A Must or a Maybe?
"You may be thinking wedding photos and a video are overkill, but trust us, you will want both. Don't just take our word for it -- listen to feedback from these Knotties..."
9 Things Brides Wish They Had Done Differently
"I’d hire a videographer"
"Having endured too many viewings of hours-long wedding videos, Christine Fennessy didn’t once consider hiring a videographer to capture her lakeside nuptials. But a year later, she confesses, she’d love to be able to hit play and revisit the day she was married on the shores of Owasco Lake in Auburn, NY. “I never thought I would say that, but I know I would cry every time I watched it.”
Christine’s not alone in this regard — it was the most repeated “regret” among brides we interviewed. Michelle Engvall, owner of Married + More, A Wedding Planning Boutique in Seattle, says having a videographer “is money well spent, and it doesn’t have to break the bank.” She suggests looking for a professional who offers a “highlights” video package. “These are typically 5 to 10 minutes long, and tell the story of the day from start to finish in a condensed version.”"
98 Percent of Brides Regret This Choice After Their Weddings
"Like most brides, I looked forward to my wedding for 4 reasons:
- I was marrying a man better than I ever could have dreamed for myself
- The Big Day was a creative outlet for my DIY dreams
- Friends and Family were coming together from all across the country
- Biggest. Party. Ever.
After the wedding, here is what I had to show for it:
- Gorgeous photos
- A preserved wedding gown
- Stories from friends and family about it being the best party, not just wedding, they had ever attended
Why 98 Percent of Brides Say You Should Definitely Get a Videographer (I Didn't, and Now I Regret It)
"When we were in the midst of wedding planning, we agreed pretty wholeheartedly on just about everything...like waffles being a "go," of course, and videography a "no." I don't know, filming everything seemed kind of unnecessary at the time, I think.
But then, last night, I was watching some video from my cousin's wedding in—oh my gosh, 1995, I think?—and the funniest thing happened: I suddenly had videography regret! There, on my cousin's video, were loved relatives who have since passed away—it was amazing to see them again, looking so happy and celebratory. And my little cousins when they were still just tiny, dancing and singing."
5 Reasons Why You Should Hire a Wedding Videographer
"One of the most underrated and underused vendor is the videographer. You'll hear brides raving about their florist, their planner and of course they want an amazing photographer, but a videographer is always seen as an added expense. Trust me, you may see it as an unnecessary expense, but here are a few reasons why that expense is worth every penny..."