Just last week I shared a very heartfelt post about Ian, myself, and our current views on marriage for us. You can read it here, but the more I thought about it while writing the piece, I realized that this would be a great blog series... to learn different peoples opinions and hear their experiences related to marriage.
Marriage has changed so much and still looks different in different parts of the world. People are married for status and wealth as well as partnership and love. Some people believe marriage is a religious union, some people don't connect it with religion at all. So this is our goal, to learn about marriage from the people, and maybe through that we will be able to discover what our own hearts and minds value as well. If you would be willing to share your thoughts, experiences, and hopes on the blog, please email me at evergreenerafilms.com.
(PLEASE NOTE: this is an open-minded space. It is for people to share their opinion and to be heard, not to be argued with. It is a safe space. If you want to debate, hate, or discriminate, this is not the place)
First up, Jennifer's view on marriage...
"Personally I am so excited to get married. Not for the party, not for the gifts, or photos, but for the symbolic stamp of affirmation that you get when someone promises you in the most ardent way possible that they see themselves with you forever. It's not something I need, but something I think will be mind-blowing to have, freely given and with intention.
In the past I've wanted my ex's to talk about marriage because I needed them to, because I was insecure in my relationship and wanted that contractual commitment. So unhealthy. But now that I've met Bobby- my perspective has totally changed. I'm no longer in any rush. He makes me feel more secure than anyone I've ever known. I know he loves me, and I know he intends on staying with me long into the foreseeable future. It's not about need, but rather just a desire to eventually experience the process and the promise that comes with marriage. To have them say it out loud would be a powerful experience that I wouldn't want to miss out on, whether it was in front of 1000 people or just in front of me and the mountains. (In Colorado you don't even need an officiant to get married.) I guess in a way, it's just as meaningful as any ritual is to groups that find value in whatever ritual they practice. To me it's a way of ultimately expressing and honoring your relationship.
And again- it totally depends on the people- but I think sometimes if things get rough and rocky, it's a little bit more difficult to exit a marriage than it is a non-contractual relationship. This is the most shallow point in a way, but I think it can make some difference. If there's more at stake, more headache and difficulty to make the exit, sometimes it forces people to reflect a little on whether or not they actually want to leave something so serious. It also keeps people in situations they should have gotten out of, and that isn't to say non-married couples don't take breaking up very seriously as well. But as with many things in life, impulses can overrule reason fairly quickly. When there's a kind of forced waiting period, sometimes the dust can settle and people can remind themselves of why they made the commitment in the first place. Sometimes they'll be obliged to make the extra effort. ? Like I said- just a small reason but I think there's a little validity to it.
! I wouldn't consider myself a traditionalist, I just think this is one I would choose to follow because of what it [would] mean to me personally. <3"
Jennifer is a wedding photographer based out of Boulder, Colorado.
See her beautiful work at www.jennifermorganphotography.com